godandthebible.net

Sometimes God does not make sense: Have you ever felt like this? Something in your life had gone totally different than you thought it should have. Many times we get caught up in thinking we know what is best for God and the plans for the universe, especially when our lives are involved. I have found myself at this place of questioning God about whether he knew what he was doing or not several times. I have gone as far as being so mad at God I stood on top of a hill and threw rocks at him. This was the first time I heard God laugh at me, and heard the question what are you doing? Do you think throwing rocks at me has any affect? Or maybe you’re at the place of, God if you really exist do this or that. This is a dangerous place to be, I have seen many fall away from God at this point because things did not go the way they thought it should have.

For me the thing that has captured my attention and does not make sense is my health. For about 40 years I had almost perfect health and then I started having headaches and my back and neck hurting and stiff. It turns out I have a degenerative disk problem in my neck and a bone spur that pushes on a nerve causing headaches to the point of being difficult to even think clearly. It took over a year to even find a doctor that finally figured out what it was, and had set a consultation with a sergeant to fix the bone spur and 1 week before the scheduled date my insurance canceled me because they said it was a pre existing problem. So here I am with no insurance and had gotten to the point it was not safe to keep driving so that meant no income. I was at the point of God this doesn’t make since.

The biggest problem with being at this place for me is that God has used me to heal the sick and many other things in my walk with him, so why not heal me?  I think he has allowed this because it is my nature to work and I tend to focus on what I am doing and forget about everything else including Jesus. I feel he has taken me to a place that I have had to trust him to survive instead of my abilities. Currently he has directed me to help with a homeless mission and my church and I spend more time with him each day that if I was still driving a truck would not be possible.

It has been a big change for me and my family, to go from buying whatever we wanted to saving coupons and running a strict budget to get by. I have to say that all our needs have been met and our bills are paid. I have seen Gods presence in all this even though it doesn’t make sense that he would want me in such a place when I am capable of doing so much more. If you find yourself in such a place start praying and asking what God wants you to do and pay attention to the things you hear him saying especially the ones you don’t want to hear, and prepare for a drastic change in your life. Remember it is all up to God, all we can do is try to carry out his will, even when it does not make sense!

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